Is Fall a Time for Dying?

I've been away for a long time here at a blog that was my inspiration; I'm hoping to make up for the lost time.

Erik had written these words years ago in a post on his website and they stuck with me since I read them: "fall is a time for dying". Through my life, I can point to personal tragedies, death, conflict and change  that came in the fall; and even as a student in high school,  I can vividly recall the tension and vague dread that was ushered into my psyche with the crisp morning air, waning daylight and chilly winds of October. A lot of friends and family were struck down with illness, fell victims to grave accidents or death throughout my life - amost exclusively in the  fall.  I'm a September baby and there's always been something in my DNA that's connected me to this time of year; I would say that it was my favorite season for close to half of my life. But now I dread the release  of summer, the stiff mornings and shorter days of light following Labor Day weekend. It's not the cold on my skin but the cold anxious feeling in my stomach that is hard to shake off.

I've been without a FT job for 7 months and am one of the 10% you keep reading about in the  WSJ or hear about on CNBC Squawk Box. I've never been so focused or worked so hard prospecting in any Sales gig as I have trying to find a job in this economy. With nearly 100 recruiters "working" for me, 20+ job boards at my disposal, a huge professional network, LinkedIn job services, Monster.com and a furious desire to get back to meaningful work, you'd think I'd have more to show for the campaign. I certainly thought I would be working in my dream job by now. And there is NO prize money for coming in second for an open position. I've had maybe a dozen engagements where I was a finalist and I spent myself intellectually and emotionally to win each of them. You probably put two or three months effort into those campaigns and when you don't nail it, there's literally nothing you come away with save disappointment. I've employed new tactics and exercised creativity like never before to differentiate myself from the thousands of initial candidates; the content, research and go-to-market plans I submitted to these employers was remarkable...some of my best work. But it didn't get me the offer.

I know I'm not alone here but it's like being on a giant sinking ship, the more time that ticks away, the fewer seats there will be in the lifeboats. And if our economy sees any more unfavorable economic indicators, there will be many more passengers jumping into the icy waters. And with the fall underway, the waters are indeed getting icy.

Steve Jobs died this week after nearly a decade of fighting cancer and it hit me harder than I'd thought. I didn't know Steve Jobs but his loss affected the world we live in. He brought technology and digital media into the home as a lifestyle expression and he did it with relentless marketing genius, design savvy and pursuit of perfection. And his contribution to American business was profound,  especially at a time when yoga geeks are occupying Wall Street, global currencies are crushing our private sector investments and everyone I know is looking to the government to fix SOMETHING for us. Steve Jobs was leading a company that was flourishing and vibrant on many levels. For me the Steve Jobs/ Apple story was somewhat of a lighthouse beacon in 7 months of darkness. And beyond that, I admired his accomplishments both inside and outside of the  company. He WAS Apple and I feel sick considering that a man like this -whose influence was realized globally,  was productive in so much innovation even outside of Apple and touched so  many individual lives with his vision- could have his life stripped away from him at a relatively young age. Life may not be fair or predictable but it is a gift that we need to celebrate every day. We need to use it vigorously.

What made me most sad was that my life,  by comparison to Jobs', is fraught with far too much introspection, analysis and self-pity. I think  my way out of so much action that if it  were a bank I would be rich with unrealized ideas and initiative. Many of us would be. We all have the same 24 hours to work with, so what are we willing to accomplish with that? I lived easily half of my life planning for the real living to start one day and what a ridiculous cliche I've lived as a result.  There is no practice round in life- every day is day 3 of the US Open so there's no time for wallowing or hesitation. We all  need to face a few facts though before we can change our lives: 1) no one is going to help you except you; take control of your situation and be in charge of it daily 2) showing up  for the match isn't enough, you have to play to win so get in that mindset however you can. I watch "300" at least once a week 3) the economy isn't getting better anytime soon- deal with it. It may require retooling your career, expectations or trying some new things. But whether we embrace this or bury our heads back in the sand, life is ticking by right now. Your life. Get out there and rip it from the champion tees and play to win.